I had heard stories about this sort of thing happening to guys when their wives get pregnant, but I never put much stock in them. It must have started slowly because I didn’t even realize that it was going on until I was already in the middle of it.
First there was the sympathy fatigue. This one was the easiest to dismiss because I just thought, “maybe I’m fighting off a bug, or carrying around all this sexy is finally taking its toll.” It wasn’t until the second symptom presented itself that I began to realize what was going on.
This is the one you hear the most stories about and it is the one that is most often made fun of. Sympathy weight is a real problem for men with pregnant wives and our culture is very insensitive to it. When your glowing bride wants that pint of Cherry Garcia with peanut butter mixed in, it would be almost rude not to partake in a pint yourself. Men, we do this for our women and all society does is make fun of us for it. It’s a shame I say, a shame! No wonder the third symptom presents its ugly head.
Sympathy mood swings… are you laughing at me!! I found that I suffered from this more during the first part of the pregnancy when my beautiful baby-mama was going through the brunt of her hormonal fluctuations. I’m not sure if it was a reaction to all of the stress or if it was more of a physiological reaction to what she was going through. What I do know is I couldn’t watch commercials for fear of seeing that darn Sarah McLachlan animal abuse commercial.
The baby hasn’t come yet so there is still the possibility of more symptoms presenting but for now this is enough to justify giving this affliction a name. So, I decided to get ahead of the medical establishment on this and give this condition a name. I call it sympathuzimiaitis (simpa-thoo-zemea-itis): the condition of experiencing sympathetic symptoms mirroring that of your pregnant wife. Now that it has a name we can begin the long hard road to a cure.

**Bro note: Do not attempt to use sympathuzimiaitis as an argument or excuse when talking with your baby-mama-to-be. Not only will she not be amused but it will most likely make her even angrier. Instead I suggest ice cream, chocolate, a foot rub, and her favorite movie.

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